Please I need your help, When I was thirteen, my sister had a boyfriend and they had been dating for about two months and then I invited him to our church. He avoided it for a couple of weeks but I persisted until he agreed and told m that I should stop by at his house on my way to church on Sunday to pick him so we could go together.
So this fateful Sunday morning, I stopped over at his house to pick him for church. He asked me to wait at the sitting room so he'll finish dressing up and join me. I waited a couple of minutes, and he came back to the sitting room in his boxers and singlet, surprised I asked him why he wasn’t dressed yet and he said he wanted to talk to me first but at the end of the day he raped me despite my pleas that I was a virgin. I was broken, I was thirteen and didn't know what to do. I couldn't talk to anyone, I didn't have a close relationship with my parents or any of my siblings, so I just kept it to myself and prayed that I shouldn't get pregnant and God was great enough to answer my prayers, there was no pregnancy. In his conscience, he stopped coming to our house probably to avoid me and eventually he ended the relationship with my sister.
Fast forward, I became matured and ought to start dating but I couldn't hold down any meaningful relationship. I couldn't even bring myself to kiss a guy not to talk of him touching me. 10 years after I was raped, I was in my final year in the university and needed some materials for my project. So I went to the library and on my way back, I suddenly saw him walking towards me, our eyes met and I froze because i immediately recognized him and those crazy memories started flooding back into my mind. He walked towards me and went down on his knees, held my hands and started pleading with me to forgive him. I just couldn't say anything and people were already gathering so he stood up and pointed me to a restaurant close-by, he just kept apologizing over and over again blaming the event on the devil, i just told him i had forgiven him and before i left, we exchanged numbers and have been keeping in touch. Two weeks ago he told me he loves me and wants me to be his woman that he had not been able to have any meaningful relationship since the incident and that he and my sister were never intimate.
Now I'm thinking, since he's the one who dis-virgined me and was responsible for the psychological trauma i was going through, he should be more understanding if I go into a relationship with him. Or do you think I can still find a man who would understand my situation? Please help me, what should I do?